Well let me get to the point of my first blog ever. The question is: why am I in China? LoL. Here’s the rundown. I started my undergrad studies as a pre-med student. The goal was to become a coroner. I love anatomy and I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with people trying to sue me if they’re dead. So I tool General Biology 1 & 2, General Chemistry 1 & 2, and Calculus 1 & 2, during my first year at F.I.U. I was passing my classes but I was so unmotivated. I would miss classes and basically cram for exams. Not a good sign. If I’m already like this during the first year, how in the world am I going to survive classes like Biochemistry? LoL. So I decided to take a few more sociology/anthropology classes (since I fell in love with my World Ethnographies class) while I decided if I would continue with this pre-med thing. I figured I could always take the prerequisite courses for medical school and major in another subject.
I came to the conclusion that I wanted to stick to sociology/anthropology and let go of the medical field. LoL. My dad was so upset. Most Haitian parents want their children to become a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. He wasn’t very supportive of my choosing the social sciences instead. LoL. I couldn’t help myself! I was in love! I actually wanted to go to class! A lazy student like me wanted to attend class! LoL! I couldn’t believe it! I took a variety of classes and found that I was passionate about the social inequalities. Things like world hunger made no sense to me. If we pay people not to produce and discard unbelievable amounts of food, why is it that people are going hungry? The more I learned the angrier I got with the world. I was annoyed by the systems that existed. I began to hate out capitalistic society. These practices and that of organizations such as the World Bank and IMF triggered a desire in me to do something about all this. I knew what I wanted to do with my life! I WANTED TO CHANGE THE WORLD!
I spent my time wondering what I could do to make the world a better place. I tried to be helpful in my community but I felt that this wasn’t enough. Non-profits, for example, are great but they don’t solve the real issues at hand. The problem is that we have systems that perpetuate inequalities in the world. These systems need to be destroyed if we hope to change what is. Well I graduated in 2007 and had no idea what to do with myself. I was still working at the company I worked with throughout most of my time at FIU. It was a cool place. They kept me busy and I had some awesome co-workers. I just felt so empty though. The days seemed to blend together. I knew that I wanted to go back to school or find a job that helped me accomplish my goal in life. I just couldn’t seem to find a job. I didn’t want to take a drastic pay cut for a company that I wasn’t passionate about. Jobs always came easy to me so I felt that God was telling to chill out. LoL. So I stopped my job search.
As I was playing on the internet I came across a university that offered a Master’s in International Studies. The program is for about a year and consists of the student teaching English in China for a year while working doing coursework on the internet. I thought this was a pretty cool deal. You get to live in another country and get your Master’s degree in such a short period of time! I e-mailed asking for more information, knowing that I would never take part in this program. China is a LONG WAY from Miami and I wasn’t trying to leave Florida!! In September or October of 2007, I went to Sonburst, a Christian conference held for university students in South Florida. My main question at that time was “what’s next”? I wanted God to tell me what to do with my life. Throughout my time there, I felt God asking to let go. I was holding on to so much. I wouldn’t consider leaving Miami because my entire life is there! What would I do without my family? Who would I hang out with if I left? Who would take care of my car? I had all these strong ties to my hometown that I wasn’t ready to do away with. God was constantly telling me to let go and trust Him. I told Him yes. I would do whatever it is that He asked me. I felt free but worried about what was to come.
God is joker. He has ways of messing with me and I love it! Soon after I got back to Miami (Sonburst was in Orlando), I received an e-mail from my contact from the university asking me if I was still interested in their Master’s program. She included the application information. It was clear that God wanted me to apply so I did. I was hoping that I wouldn’t get accepted because I didn’t want to be away from my family and friends for a whole year! Wow this is getting long! I’ll try to wrap it up soon. The school accepted me and requested that I let them know if I plan to take part of their program. I had a deadline to give them my answer. I basically avoided thinking about it and the deadline soon came. I had no idea what to tell the school. I hadn’t seriously prayed about the situation yet either.
I checked my e-mail the day of the deadline to read that I had a two month extension to make my decision. God is good. It was His way of asking me to seek Him. To really find out what He wants me to do. That’s what I did. I prayed about the entire situation and asked friends to do the same. I am so grateful for the consistency of my brothers and sisters in Christ that went to God on my behalf. How time flies… it was soon less than a week before my deadline and I felt that I still had no clue what God wanted me to do. Maybe I thought He wanted me to go to China but I wasn’t going to leave my family and go across the world for something I “thought” was true. I needed a CONCRETE CONFIMATION!
I often spent my lunch breaks in my car. I’d try to read something from my Bible during that time. I remember sitting in my car that day and having a conversation with God. I was straight to the point. I asked Him what He wanted me to do. I explained me anxieties to Him; that this was such a big step and I wasn’t going to take it unless I was certain it was something He wanted me to do. As I sat there, something told me to turn on my car radio, so I did. The first station I selected was talking about China. I figured that has to be a coincidence. China’s hosting the Olympics this year so of course people are going to be talking about the country. I told God that I wanted more. I wanted to hear from Him clearly. Something told me to open my phone. I did and it said “Made in China”. I later saw that the battery said made in Japan but the only thing I noticed at the time was “Made in China”. I thought to myself, EVERYTHING’S MADE IN CHINA. LoL. I asked God for a third and final sign that I could not deny. If He wanted me to go to China I wanted it to be 100% clear. I felt something telling me to close my Bible so I did. My eyes immediately came across something that I’d never noticed before. The tab of my Bible cover read: Gregg Gear Fits Hardcover Books XL @ Gregg gift Company IRVINE, CA. MADE IN CHINA. The made in China was not what did it, but the Irvine, CA. That is where the school is located.
I was in awe. God spoke. I’M GOING TO CHINA. There was this peace. I wasn’t worried anymore because I felt that God made Himself clear. I am His. He wouldn’t try my set. LoL. I knew that if He told me to go, He would take care of me. I was also excited. I mean, I always said I wanted to change the world. How can I begin to change something I know nothing about? So here I am in China… He has been aMaZiNG. My God is a provider. He is so good to me even when I don’t give Him the same in return. Life here is good. I love Hangzhou. I’m happy to be here. I just get homesick on a regular basis. I’m also realizing that I’m forgetting the big picture. I need to keep my eyes open. To look for what God is trying to show me; to His efforts at preparing me for the next step because only He knows what that is...
This a pic of my older bro Abe, his fiancee, and I during their final night in China. Big bro didn't want little sis to go across the world all by herself! I'm grateful to have had there here for my first week in China.
We are proud of you!
ReplyDeleteThe world needs more people who are ready to change it for the better.
God Bless!